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Though they welcome us into their 'community'.
The fact is that alot of bisexuals are mis treated
by the very people who are mistreated because
of who they chose to love.
Bisexuals are mistreated by the lesbian and gay
community often.
Some of the insults are not limited to but include:
Fence Jumper : Someone who sits on a fence and doesn't know
which side to climb over.
Not 100% ground beef only 80/20.
Reffering to the fact that we chose other partners.
There are no real bisexuals.
Reffering to the fact that often bisexuals
chose to live as 'gays' because they are not able
to live up to their gay partner's expectation. Often
bisexuals lie about being bisexual because
they are threatened and put down by their gay
partner until they tell their gay partner that they have
changed.
Bisexuals are confused.
Though there are persons who've been living with
bisexuality longer than most gay couples have been
together are we still considered confused.
One would think that you would quit calling us
confused after oh 5 or ten years of living and
being active in this lifestyle.
Other articles:
Fence-sitters. Closeted-dykes. We have all sorts of names for bisexuals, don't we?
I made a new friend online the other day and we were discussing women who are bisexual because their husbands and boyfriends want them to be. I insisted those were not bisexuals, they were only women who were engaging (pathetically, I might add) in bisexual behavior just to please a man. How many of you conservative women reading this have done that? Don't lie either. I have it on good authority that there are plenty of you who have. If a woman has to "become" a bisexual to keep her husband interested in their sex life, that woman needs a new husband. But hey, people have to do what they gotta do, right?
Those bisexuals don't usually concern lesbians because they're usually running in packs together -- looking for other married bisexuals. The ones who usually suffer the brunt of our harsh criticism are the ones who we feel are just playing with women until the right guy comes along. When I hear a lesbian say, "I don't date bisexuals because I don't want to have to worry about her leaving me for a man," I just cringe. Excuse me. What does it matter who she leaves you for if she's plannin' on leavin'? I guess it would equate to the same ego blow that men receive when their wives leave them for one of those women they were playing around with. Ouch!
The insecurity of bisexuality. I think that's the problem so many lesbians have with bisexuals. I can't think of anything else. It would explain why someone like me (once married, mother of two, now lesbian) receives a much different reception among lesbians than a self-proclaimed bisexual woman does. Because I have identified as a lesbian, there's less risk that I would suddenly decide that a woman isn't what I want. Now, Sinead O'Connor blew that theory straight to hell when she removed herself from the last Lilith Fair tour and announced she was marrying a man. Talk about a surprise!
I'm trying to figure out the best way to word this. I'm thinking relationships are at their strongest when two people enter them with the best intentions. The country is sitting at a 50% divorce rate, so obviously even heterosexuals can't get the relationship thing right. For lesbians though, I suppose the added worry is that bisexuals throw an extra wrench in the equation because now there's a variable that's really beyond your control at play. That's making a huge assumption (an unfair assumption) that bisexuals are flippant and less committed to their relationships than lesbians are.
What I don't understand about our disdain for bisexuals though is that we embrace celebrities like Ani DiFrano who is bisexual, married to a man, and has a man running her record label. We call her a lesbian and we call her music "lesbian music." I'm not an Ani fan, by the way. I think her music is total propaganda, created to appeal to those people who want so badly to see her as a lesbian feminist. That's another blog entry entirely though. Also, there's Margaret Cho, who if you listen to her words carefully, always speaks more for and to male homosexuals. Don't get me wrong, Cho is funny as all hell and she's done much for promoting awareness of LGBT issues. But ya can't see her biases through your laughter.
It's really bad to see so much strife in what's often called a community:
the LGBT community. The lesbians have it in for the bisexuals. The gay
men have a problem with lesbians (don't act like you don't). The lesbians
sitting in their corner bitchin' about the gay men who kiss them to say
hello: "if one more fag kisses me . . . " And everybody bitchin' about
the transgendered people. We're not all putting knives in each other's
backs, of course not. But there's enough of us behaving like that to where
it makes enough of a difference.
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Lisa D
Goddess
Posts: 85
From:columbus, OH USA
Registered: May 2000
posted 07-27-2000 01:20 PM
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While you expect some straight people to be narrow, I've always been
amazed, personally, that the homosexual community is either lukewarm, or
more often, downright hostile to the concept of bisexuality.
To me, bisexuality is a very sophisticated sexual preference-the ability
to love and accept someone, both emotionally and sexually regardless of
their gender, is sophisticated and complex concept. Many times, I get the
impression that both heterosexuals and homosexuals feel that bisexuality
is "walking the fence" or "undecided." To me, just the opposite is true.
The acknowledgement that both genders have value to you on a very specific,
intimate level takes courage and a deep sense strength; Knowing that both
gay and straight people will be very critical of your choices has to be
frightening.
My personal opinion? I love people based on a variety of factors that
often do not include the size/shap/kind of sex organs the person posesses.
When you're hot, you're hot!
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